Monday, July 18, 2005

It does not make sense!

An update on the Gary Williams picture, identified by Mr. McDonkerton last week

Apparently the picture in question was shot at Dewey Beach, and instead of chugging with co-eds, everyone in the beach house is “30-40 years old,” according to an alleged housemate. Gary was simply at the beach having a good time and someone caught him in a awkard looking picture, and not inebriated.

Anyway, I have no problem with Gary goin to the beach to tip a few back and munch on some chicken. Drunk or not, the picture is high-larious. Also, according the UMD alumni on the McDonkerton site, it is no surprise to see Gary a little hammer-timed, as he often makes the rounds to the five College Park bars in that same state of inebriation. Sounds like a coach simply trying to stay in touch with his public, I say "go for it Gary - you earned it."

For some reason, however, I seriously doubt Fridge Freidgen would be caught on camera with only two small pieces of chicken. After downing a few beers at Dewey, Friedgen would more likely be rollin' with a whole bucket of Extra tasty crispy and maybe even a steamed rock lobster. Rock Lobster!!


In another conversation last week, Senor McDonkerton asked how Fox News could be considered the network of republican propaganda, while the regular broadcast Fox network has so many good shows. This is something I have wondered for years. There are many cutting-edge and even subversive shows on the main Fox Network: Simpsons, Family Guy, Arrested Development, etc. At the same time, however, Fox News continues to be a shill for the republican party with no journalistic standards. Well this dichotomy seems to have even irked and confused the ruler of fox-news Rupert Murdoch. Fox News had such a hard time understanding this mixture that THEY TRIED TO SUE THEMSELVES over a Simpsons episode that was mocking fox news. Thats right, the Simpsons ran an episode that infuriated Fox News, and the idiots tried to sue...themselves. Now, I'm no lawyer (well I'm not an entertainment lawyer) but suiing yourself seems pretty damned stupid.


Since my last post, Larry Hughes decided to take the money and run from the Wizards, and I cant really blame him for that. But the basketball-genius that is Ernie Grunfeld has managed to weather the storm. The Wizards obtained Caron (Pharell) Butler and Chucky Atkins-Diet in exchange for the quitter Kwame Brown and they are currently working on signing a power forward (likely donyell marshall). Once Ernie’s PF is signed the Wiz should have a better lineup than last year, even without Hughes:

PG: Arenas - Atkins - Blake
SG: Butler - Hayes
SF: Jamison - Jeffries
PF: Donyell Marshall - Ruffin - Blatche (rookie)
C: Haywood - E. Thomas

Thats pretty good work by Grunfeld, and that is why the Redskins need a damn general manager.


And finally, in the serious news segment, Karl Rove’s attorney may soon be employing the chewbacca defense.

Here is the defense laid out:
But ladies and gentlemen of this supposed jury, I have one final thing I want you to consider: Ladies and gentlemen this [pointing to a picture of Chewbacca] is Chewbacca. Chewbacca is a Wookiee from the planet Kashyyyk, but Chewbacca lives on the planet Endor. Now, think about that. That does not make sense! Why would a Wookiee—an eight foot tall Wookiee—want to live on Endor with a bunch of two foot tall Ewoks? That does not make sense!
But more important, you have to ask yourself, what does this have to do with this case? Nothing. Ladies and gentlemen, it has nothing to do with this case! It does not make sense!
Look at me, I'm a lawyer defending a major record company, and I'm talkin' about Chewbacca. Does that make sense? Ladies and gentlemen, I am not making any sense. None of this makes sense!
And so you have to remember, when you're in that jury room deliberating and conjugating the Emancipation Proclamation... does it make sense? No! Ladies and gentlemen of this supposed jury, it does not make sense.
If Chewbacca lived on Endor, you must acquit Karl Rove! The defense rests.

You can listen to the Rove/Chef Chebacca Defense here.


At 9:57 PM, Blogger subcontinental.giant said...

You will be surprised how often the Chewbacca defense is used in high profile gov't cases. As a former employee for the Evil Law Firm ( I love saying that )I had personally witnessed its use in demonstrative evidence and trial presentations all the time ! Alot of times I was aked to place actual subliminal water marks of Wookies and Ewoks in the backgrounds of many exhibits.

At 10:01 PM, Blogger subcontinental.giant said...

I actually watched an episode of the Simpsons last night and the ticker on the bottom of the FoxNews broadcast on the show was HIGH-larious. It read something like this... "Pointless news crawls up 37 percent ... Do Democrats cause cancer? Find out at ... Rupert Murdoch: Terrific dancer ... Dow down 5,000 points ... Study: 92 percent of Democrats are gay ... JFK posthumously joins Republican Party ... Oil slicks found to keep seals young, supple ..."

Once again proving the Simpsons could possibly be the greatest shows to ever grace the small screen.

At 11:22 AM, Blogger Donkey Mcdonkerton said...

Did someone say JEWIE


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