Monday, August 06, 2007

Who updates this thing?

Geez, this blog seems to be dying a slow death. Is it just the slow summer months? Any ideas on how to pick things up around here? Anybody have anything they want blogged about? The Linker is taking requests. Have the days of redonkulous-linker-generated-content come to an end?

Friday, July 13, 2007

I saw a Black Flag sticker on a Cadillac.

Now that my treadmill is finally repaired, I have watched a ton of sports on the big screen in these past few weeks, but I have not watched one single minute of the traditional summer sports -- baseball, golf, or tennis. Nope, my summer sports viewing is been shifted to almost all Soccer all the time, and some MMA, and these sports pack 20 times the excitement of a 9 inning baseball nap, or following around Tiger in person.

In just the past couple weeks we have seen USA Soccer’s Gold Cup victory, the U-20 World Cup matches starring Freddy Adu, and DC’s only perennial first place team DC United. The US sent a young inexperienced team to Copa America, with little intent on winning, and yet I still watched all of those games, even in freaking espanol. Thats right, Id rather watch a spanish broadcast of soccer that I don't understand than another Yankees Bosox matchup. Traditional summer sports could not be more dead to me.
Thanks to Goff at the DC Post Soccer Insider blog, I realized that the US-Brazil U-20 game was shown on ESPN last week and Freddy Adu was nothing short of brilliant in beathing Brazil. Not only that, but in the prior game against Poland Adu had racked up a hat trick including this sweet goal.

This week, the U-20s advanced to the final eight in the World Cup in an ugly game against Urugauay, with the best highlight ive seen being the brouhaha at the end. Her is to hoping that ESPN realizes that this is the future of summer sports in the US and the rest of the world cup is shown on channels that people actually receive instead of ESPN-UV or the Ocho.
I am no longer 12 years old, and therefore, unlike the rest of my generation, I have no burning desire to see the Transformers movie. The Gobots movie, however, is a different story. (The only person less interested than me in the transformers is Optimus Prime’s GEICO agent).
In case you were wondering, the iphone does blend.
Bill-O gets his ass handed to him by a 16 year old kid..and obviously it is great viewing
Through the magic of the youtubes, David Cross debates Rudy Guiliani. Do I need to tell you that “Mr.9/11" loses.
via spoony D: 30 Rock Top 10 Moments starring Tracy Morgan
DocLinks continued: Fimoculous finds links to the entire “This Film Is Not Yet Rated” and yet another link to “Sicko” (for now).
In a strange way I am almost glad that Bush pardoned Scooter Libby (commutating is effectively the same as pardoning in this case). It doesn’t really do anything for me if a mega-rich asshole spends 2 years in a country club prison before getting back to his mega-rich country club life. On the other hand, with the pardon out in the open, we get to see the total hypocrisy of the Bush Republicans. If someone opposes lengthy jail sentences for kids caught with marijuana they are soft on crime, but if your friend gets caught obstructing justice ...pardon him. If you are want an “illegal alien” to not be deported you are all about “amnesty” and don’t understand what “illegal” means. But if your friend lies under oath, that is not really that illegal... so pardon him. If someone from one party lies about sex they should be impeached and jailed, if one of your friends lies about the outing of a covert CIA agency and obstructs justice to prevent the facts from coming out...give em a pardon. Give me a freaking break with this “tough on crime” nonsense. Also, watch the republican hypocrisy continue in this video

Monday, June 18, 2007

Flowers and old legionaires

Once again Agent Steinz, from the Washington Post’s D.C. Sports Bog, promotes and defends the Redonkulous Linker, this time defending our hero from the evil thieves at Mike and Mike In the Morning.
Speaking of brilliant sports bloggers, Unsilent Majority eloquently explained in Deadspin early last week why Gilbert’s announced decision to opt out of his contract was just a smart business decision and does NOT mean he is leaving:
Simply put, there's no reason for to go anywhere else. This is his home, it's where he's raising a family, it's where he's loved, and it's where he reigns supreme as The Black President (which makes him more powerful than Eleanor Holmes Norton) . And if does leave he knows that we'll find him. Remember, we're a bunch of crazy fuckers [with a cite to the crazy fuckers at Wizznutz]

Later in the week Gilbert personally and completely confirmed the thoughts of UM on his own blizzog.
Anyway, why would Arenas have signed a personalized jersey to the “R. Linker”if he planned on leaving us.
DC’s best pound-for-pound blogger, the DCeiver, has nailed my feelings exactly on the latest incarnation of total-whackjob, Perry Farrell. Yes Jane’s Addiction was great, but as I rediscovered in a recent Ron and Fez podcast, the man is a complete lunatic, Satellite Party will undoubtedly suck and DCeiver rightly explains why. Money quote:
Take this Satellite Party shit. To hear Farrell talk about it, it's like he's unlocked the Arc of the Covenant of something. He talks about his shitty band in these terms that you'd have to have ingested two huge Aaron Sorkin-loads of shrooms to even halfway believe. He tells interviewers that on UltraPayloaded, he's more or less created the music that will instantaneously unlock the mysteries of the celestial spheres and douse the listener in fluffy bunny rabbits and orgasm-inducing ambrosia and that the experience will be tantamount to seeing the face of God. In the first place, Fergie is a collaborator on this record, so you know this is just an impossible claim from jump, but sadly, his prize gimmick is some moldy old field recording of Jim Morrisson, saying only fuckadoo knows what. Christ, I'm surprised there isn't a whole room full of tapes with Morrisson blabbing on them--if they don't exist it's only because someone who loved him burned them.

DCeiver is harsh on the 90's icon, but the guy has got a point.
A few years ago, the geniuses at the Pentagon were actually planning a “Gay Bomb” to turn our enemies, well, gay. Dont believe me?...

Alex Blagg at Best Week Ever did some fine investigative reporting and found the schematics for the top secret gay bomb.
Interesting remix video of T-Pain's .Let me buy you a draaaank
After last weeks in depth discussion on the rise of Douchiness in our popular culture, I stumbled across this Manfred Man song playing somewhere. (check the video ) Hearing Mr. Man repeat the chorus about 20 times in the song (including 3 straight times to begin the joint, I became convinced that the subject of this ditty was proclaimed to be “wrapped up like douche.” After a minimal amount of digging around on the intertubes, my thoughts were confirmed by the Wikipedias.
Under the subheading "Deuce versus douche", I learned that the song was actually written by Bruce Springsteen and referenced to a duece, a '32 Ford Deuce Coupe. The song was then covered by Man and changed to 'revved up like a douche', "which is a feminine hygienic procedure." The Boss even attributed the popularity of the cover version to the repeated use of the douche wrapping. Nice.
Thanks to Fimoculous, here is the entire new Michael Moore, doc Sicko.
And don’t worry about watching it online, I remember Moore saying he doesnt mind the file sharing on teh internets. Since he doesn't mind, here is the full Farenheit 9/11

Monday, June 04, 2007

Skeptics Guide to the Douchebaggaverse

Another two week delay, but since I received no comments or emails regarding the lack of posting...I will just assume that nobody cared
Big psuedo-scientific news last week as the Loch Ness Monster was finally filmed terrorizing Scotland. At least according to CNN, whose breathless headline read “Fabled monster caught on video.” The text of the article was no less hysterical: “The Scottish media is skeptical of Nessie stories but Holmes' footage is of such good quality that even the normally reticent BBC Scotland aired the video on its main news program on Tuesday.” Ooooh I couldnt wait to see this high quality video so I found the Scottish newscast on the Gootube. The CNN article continued: “Loch Ness Monster watchers say is among the finest footage ever taken of the elusive mythical creature.” Ok, it is settled, “Loch Ness Monster watchers” are fucking idiots. The only thing shown in the video was a long black line moving through the water. This is what passes for a monster these days?

I knew the skeptics would have a field day with this nonsense, and the message board of my favorite skeptical podcast, Skeptics Guide to the Universe, did not dissapoint. Quickly a more suitable headline was created
Speaking of believing in stupid shit. has an excellent list of the top 10 celebrities whose belief in the alien Xenu are most disappointing. Jason Lee, Beck, Seinfeld....dagger.
Finally almost 15 years after high school, the lyrics to Yellow Ledbetter are explained on the gootube.
I have pretty much avoided the guy-in-basement-talking-into-webcam side of youtube, but this ol' skeptical bastard ranting about religion on about 30 podcasts kicks much ass
Resident Donkies(eys) Paparazzi Spooony D got himself in Gilbertology recently with a ton of Agent Zero and other Wizard-themed photoshops. If I really cared about this blog I'd procure his magician like services to fix up this damn thing again as with his brilliant rendering of Billy Donovan eating children - Coach K style - back in March of '06
But still have "edit me" links in the right margin. Give me a reason to care, I dare you.
Holy Shit The Bees Are All Dead
Matthew Mf-ing Yglesias linked to this highlarious and pseudo-intellectual examination of the modern day douchebag
He has seen the douchebag, and it is us.
The surprising thing about douchebag, which has become the current default term of disparagement—deployed with relish by everyone from Jon Stewart to every other blogger—is that most likely your grandfather used it too...Over time, the word has come to denote “somebody who can’t help but to be an asshole

Although the douchebag described in that article may be be me, at least I am not the type of dbag prominently featured on the Hot Chicks With Douchebags Blog
and I have yet to buy an douche cologne

Monday, May 21, 2007

Shouldn't have left you

I missed a week in posting. You can all feel free to dock my salary 100%
A great weekend was made greater by my decision to skip out on Preakness once again. A couple of years ago, I realized that I was about 10 years too old to ride the durnk bus to the Freakness infield and have since retired. The videos surfacing today of all the Port-O-Racing have confirmed that my decision was wise. Much better to drink in my backyard and watch the Preakness nonsense on Youtube, without having to worry about 12 ounce metal projectiles full of Natty Light whizzing by my head.

Port-O-Racing is almost as dangerous for Bmore necks and fratboys, as break-dancing is for babies.......keep watching until the end

And as with every great video on the internets...Here is the remix and in the words of With Leather, with more baby-kicking.
I think the only little kid I would trust around the breakdancers is this guy
Jerry Falwell is now in a box, and while Christopher Hitchens is one wacky drunk, he sure gives an amazing euology
I think I stared at Flickrvision for twenty minutes straight last night, and I have no idea why. Flickervision - watch worldwide pictures get uploaded onto Flickr in real time
The other day I arrived at work without an essential ingredient for my work day -- the almighty ipod. It was like arriving at Preakness without your tribal tatoo or at Falwell's church without anything to bash a gay person with. Anyway, I was immediately unsure whether I could function through an entire workday of helping rich people fight other rich people over money, without constant acceptable music playing in the background. Luckily, I had the ingenious idea of using the Google Gootube search function to find full length concerts all over the Gootube. By using the time settings and the rating settings I was able to find a bunch of great shows, each at least 20 minutes long, and the day was saved.

Here are the jounks I especially enjoyed

Redonkulously good full set of My Morning Jacket at Austin City Limits

1971 Neil Young Acoustic BBC Concert

Pearl Jam - in a Tower Records - just after releasing Ten

Radiohead, live and doing a ton of Kid A material

Bright Eyes on a morning radio show

Foo Fighters trying to save mainstream rock.
Highlarious article on Airborne. I guess since people in my law office already believe in Feng Shui, Astrology, and Noah’s Ark, believing in Airborne isn't all that outrageous
Months ago I had a conversation with a former NSA employee who tried to convince me that our government would not have authorized the warrantless wiretapping unless they were confident that it was legal and effective. Right. Last week we got the real story, as James Comey testified before Congress about how Bush’s incompetent cronies attempted to convince a hospital bed-ridden and drugged-up attorney general to approve the illegal program because the acting attorney general already informed these pathetic clowns that it was unconstitutional. Comey had to race to the hospital to stop Gone-zalez and Card from taking advantage of the guy recovering from surgery by getting him to sign off. If you want to see how low the Bush administration routinely sinks, watch the video of the testimony

If that is not lively enough for you, as with all great internet videos, check out the Godfather remix of the testimony

As Josh Marshall points out, one of the most stunning developments in this story was that Ashcroft almost comes out as a hero. Crazy I know, but the point really is that compared to Gone-zalez and the rest of Bush’s recent cronies, even total idiots like Ashcroft seem like heroes in comparison.

Tuesday, May 08, 2007

"I wish that I believed in fate"

With the Wizards season over and Agent Steinz now having to resort to covering pro lacrosse, I was sent the best cross-over website for both the D.C. Sports Bog and Bog-TV Cheddarvision. While it may simply be a way to watch cheese age (it’s the new watching grass grow) it is still almost as exciting as a midlevel boxing match. Go there and watch the cheese age LIVE.

Best of all the, Bog Show can now get its "You Tube Clip of the Week" and its "Artisanal Cheese of the Week" all in one single exciting package. Regional television will never be the same

Mmmm cheddar aging.
If you watch the office, you know you cannot resist the sweet sounds of Andy Bernard. Luckily the Thigh Master has collected all of his a capella song stylings in one place. Check out the greatest hits....and drift awaaaay
For some reason Spoony D sent me this video of real life dungeons and dragons warriors, so I had to show him what happens when these guys get arrested.

I'm wearing boots of escaping!
I soaked up the hype and watched the big fight this weekend. If that was anywhere near the best that boxing has to offer, then it is finished as a major sport in the US. Unlike just about every MMA fight that I have ever watched, there was never even a threat of one fighter knocking the other one down during any of the 40 or so rounds. I don’t need to see blood or broken bones, I just want a chance that one guy will knock the other guy down or at least into the ropes. De La Hoya simply chased Mayweather around the ring while Pretty Boy Floyd danced around and jabbed him in the face when he got tired of chasinge. How exciting. The fight ended in a split decision with each fighter claiming victory, and even Pretty boy Floyd’s own father stating that De La Hoya should have won.

From watching the full broadcast, and the hype leading up, it was clear that boxing knows its in trouble, and has already developed a complex with regard to MMA. If you watch an MMA or UFC event you do not see some clown like Jim Lampley claiming that boxers don’t have nearly the skill of MMA fighters. But for some reason Lampley felt like he needed to take time out to bash the UFC in what had been billed as the superbowl of boxing. Watch a UFC event and the only time boxing is mentioned is as one of the many disciplines involved in MMA. Give it up Lamps and go back to beating your wife.

Also to say that a top flight boxer would defeat an MMA fighter in a mixed martial arts fight is redizzonkulous. A boxer would win in a BOXING match but a top level MMA fighter would destroy the boxer in a cage. Yet leading up to the fight, Mayweather began running his mouth and saying he would beat any MMA fighter. Lightweight champ Sean Sherk immediately accepted any challenge by PBFloyd and SAT RINGSIDE to remind Mayweather of that fact that he would elbow him into unconsciousness if PBF fought in a cage. Here is how a fight between PBFloyd and Sherk would go...Sherk charges at PBF with his hands in front of his fact, Mayweather lands a couple of huge blows to the top of Sherk's hard head as he rushes in, Sherk takes down PBF to the ground and proceeds to hold him in place while he takes his face apart with elbows. Mayweather would, however, win in a jump rope contest.

UPDATE: Mayweather apologizes and smartly claims he does not want to fight in the UFC.


When I saw this headline pop up on the RSS feeder, I did not even read the story.
"NRA opposes bill to stop gun sales to terror suspects."
I just figured this was an overzealous liberal blogger doing what partisan supporters often do, re-writing the headline with significant hyperbole.

Then I was sent the same article by semi-republican Gerard G. under the headline “I need a new party” and I realized
...holy shit, that was the actual real headline, and the intention of the NRA...the NRA is really trying to block a bill that would restrict the sale of guns to TERROR SUSPECTS.

Why do we even have a gun lobby anymore? Do they really think that terror suspects should have a right to hunt with uzi’s if they feel like it. Really, terror suspects should have a right to hunt with automatic weapons? I don’t even know what else to write. I think we can now start commenting freely on Va Tech, this shit is so stupid.
This just in, 3 out of 10 (30% for you non-math majors) of the Republicans running for president likely believe that Noah actually built an Ark and collected two of each and every animal, including aardvarks, elephants, and single cell amoebas before sailing around the world

“As the Bush administration's so-called "AIDS czar," Deputy Secretary of State Randall L. Tobias was criticized for emphasizing faithfulness and abstinence over condom use to combat sexually transmitted diseases.

Tobias was one of these religious right wackos who believed that teaching kids, in both the US and in third-world countries, only about abstienence with no mention of that icky safe sex. Want to stop disease and unwanted pregnancy, just teach them about abstinence, and how to be religious. Tobias even thought that preaching Christianity would help convince everyone to stay in committed relationships like his. So guess what happened last week... the dumbass hypocrite was found on the D.C. Madam’s list ordering hookers like they were netflix movies.
Deputy Secretary of State Randall L. Tobias submitted his resignation Friday, one day after confirming to ABC News that he had been a customer of a Washington, D.C. escort service whose owner has been charged by federal prosecutors with running a prostitution operation.

Friday, April 27, 2007

I'll be the water wings

I forgot to post this for the last couple weeks, but if you are getting back into Sopranos this seven minute video rolling through every single plot-line for each and every season in 7 total minutes is a must.....outstanding

Much better, although not nearly as ass-kicking as this musical asskicking video summary of the Die Hard series...yipppekayyaaa mutherfucker.
I know this Landlord video is a couple weeks old, but I had the pleasure of heairng Donkey McDonkerton attempt to recite it from memory about 8 times last weekend, and it is still good

Gilbert went off again on his blog last week and even gets into his potential co-presidency with Obama.
I will be in the Verizon Center tomorrow when Agent Zero hopefully unveils his surprise and makes 4 million dollars rain from the rafters. I also appreciate the Wizards tanking the first 2 games so I can get cheap tickets for the home games, as the Wizards prepare to win 4 straight and take out the Cavs.
Gerard G is a big fan of this video where a woman breaks down the details of penis power
This week the SCGiant, blogger of all design products and other assorted useless crap that I need, points me to a badass matchbook. Despite the fact that I have no need for matches, I might get one to keep in my pocket next to my money switchblade comb...those really impress the ladies.
Thanks to Gorilla Mask here is a link to the top ten Howard Stern gootube videos, and that site contains a link to over 200 other Stern clips. That Uber site also has a boatload of other top ten video lists including holloywood’s breast actresses. Ah the magic of the gootubes.
At the request of Mease and others I have to post this Cro Cop video. The Croation guy in this fight is the head of an Anti-terrorist swat team and a member of the Croatian parliament, in addition to being a professional asskicker, but you gotta watch this fight

This fight headlined a card that seems to have finally brought the sport of MMA into the sports and internets’ mainstream. The UFC couldnt get an HBO deal completed in time for this event, so they decided to air one of their regular pay-per-view shows on regular basic cable. I’ve been on this MMA/UFC bandwagon for a couple years now, and most other peoples didnt seem to notice, but after this free show my RSS reader started blowin up with sports fans who usually never mentioned the sport...first local sports talker Czaban was hyping the fight, also the twin kings of sports blogging With Leather and Deadspin jumped on board. As if that was not enough, I noted that the boxing section on CBS sportsline has become MMA/Boxing.