Monday, August 22, 2005

You can Haight me now, but I won’t stop now.

As usual, I will start with the personal recap (feel free to skip this part) and then get it on with redonk links.

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I have yet another excuse for my week without posting: my summer 2005 bluest-of-the-blue-state tour. The tour continued last week in California, as this time I traveled to the bluest place on earth the Bay Area. I had no need to once again drive through Jesusland this time as we simply flew over the red states on Independence Air

Our first stop was Kristen’s place in the Haight. I once thought that this neighborhood was purely for Dead Heads and Phish Phans but the place had tons of character and was perfect for our first night out in SF. The first big plus was that there was no need to change out of our airplane clothes, as there are plenty of non black-pants-non-$12-drink bars in the Haight. While pre-gaming, we were debriefed about the Haight night-life by our hosts. We were told: “The kids here think its cool to dress like homeless people and ask you for some money, you can tell by their shoes” immediately followed by “almost every person on the street will try to sell you some weed, if you don’t want any just keep walking.” Well it sure didnt take long for our hosts to be proven correct, upon turning the first corner from Golden Gate Park past the McDonalds and onto Haight Street, the very first group of hooded-sweatshirt kids began to chant “got any change, any cash?” Upon being denied they moved on to their second line of inquiry: “nuggets? need nuggets? Want nuggets?” I know that Dori loves chicken fingers, nuggets and fries, but we didnt need to break out the urban dictionary to know that they weren’t peddling the tasty fried stuff with dipping sauce. Mmm nuggets.

Ok, so fake-homeless drug dealers with McDonalds code words doesn’t make the most endearing introduction to any neighborhood but it was funny the first time, and the rest of the street/area actually turned out to be pretty damn cool. On a side note, I also discovered that I’m pretty down with lesbians. No, I don’t mean watching them in movies and magazines, I’ve known that my whole adult life. I mean that while in the Haight I got into some good conversations regarding indie movies, the Sundance film festival, international soccer, and the comparative hotness of the U.S. Women’s soccer team. Not things that I usually discuss with girls in Georgetown so it was a fun change of pace.

Anyway, while sipping a beer in the Magnolia brew-pub I saw another common variation of the drunkard that I did not expect in the hippie/hispter land of Haight-Ashbury. In a brewpub decorated like a psychedelic mushroom and I'm assuming named after a Dead song, these people indicated that they had put down their bongs long enough to take part in a semi-sporting event that involved wearing matching brightly colored t-shirts. I think many of you know where I’m going with this - thats right - I spotted an actual WAKA kickball team in the heart of the Haight. So those DC bloggers concerned that kickballers are taking over all the bars in DC, consider yourself warned, they are takin over the bars from coast to coast, even mushroom infused brewpubs in the original land of hippiedom.

The rest of the trip wasn’t as culturally interesting as the Haight, but was just as much fun. I hung with the younger cousins and showed them both sides of the cultural spectrum from our money hotel in San Jose ato the bay area's version of oooocean city - the tatooed Raider Nation that is Santa Cruz.

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ON TO THE LINKS
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Drunk Willie Style - Is this you?

This newcomer of a blogger has been doing his BWS/DWS routine for years, and in a recent post compared Dewey to an adult Disneyland. Now I believe he may have had a brush with another unkowing DC blogger and that they may cross-blogged during the act of BWS’s attack.

This random DC blogger recounts a night in Dewey beach and Mr. McDonkerton has pointed out the high likelihood that Drunk Willie Style is the anonymous drunkard in question in the second half of the post

A close reading of the text reveals many hints to the possible identification of DWS:

“I find myself almost literally swept off my feet as he decides that we're going to dance”
‒ Drunk Willie Style? - check

“He kept telling me I was the most beautiful girl in the bar”
‒ Drunk Willie Style? - check

“Of course he starts trying to kiss me and I push him away”
‒ Drunk Willie Style? - check

“He jokingly calls me a tease”
‒ Drunk Willie Style? - check

“I guess he was curious if I had given him the right number because he didn't wait long to call. hahaha).”
‒ Drunk Willie Style? - check

This last one may be a dead giveaway, because while almost all guys ponder the proper number of days to wait before calling a girl after getting her number (2, 3? see, Swingers) DWS only debates whether to wait until after he has left the bar or not, before making the return call. This money move often shortens the standard waiting time from standard-guy-method three days to DWS-method of three minutes. This is a signature move of DWS that I have never seen practiced elsewhere. DWS, if you are out there, speak up and let us know if it is you?

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Donkies are ruling once again. Donkie soccer undefeated, Donkie kickball undefeated, Donkie football - slowly forming. And now we get an excellent and inexplicable defense of Donkey parn from craigslist. Im pretty sure that this Donkeys post is totally unrelated to the Donkies but you be the judge.

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Despite idiotic politicians like Bill Frist jumping on the creationism err intellingent design bandawagon, The spaghetti monster is starting to gather some mainstream press.

I guess Frist felt bad about finnally making the correct decision on permitting government funding of stem cell research and wanted to balance it out with some anti-science. But dont worry Ragu monster, I still want to believe.



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Say it aint so Coach Joe:

I really hope that the Spaghetti monster helps Coach Gibbs turn the Skins around, because they are quickly becoming a national joke. Exhibit A is the is the following article from the San Jose Mercury News, delivered to my hotel room on Saturday morning:

“HEARD THIS ONE?
“The Washington Redskins aren't a Mickey Mouse operation. Not exactly. Daniel Snyder -- whose continued presence ensures that, no matter how bad it gets, John York will not be the worst owner in the NFL -- is mounting a campaign to take over Six Flags Inc., which runs dozens of theme parks. . . . The implications are obvious: If the takeover is successful all Six Flags parks will include a ride known as Joe Gibb’s Offense. Customers will move 3 yards at a time in 1980s-era vehicles.

This is getting redonkulous. Taking shots at Snyder has been fair game for years but NOW everyone is tearing into coach Joe. This is getting real bad, “Like Vinnie Chase and the crew turning down court side Lakers seats because the Wizards are playing”, bad.

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Does this story really seem far-fetched to anyone who has dealt with Comcast customer service. While I have never been formally addressed as “Bitch Dog” (is that redundant?) as this woman has, Comcast's service has been bad enough for me to happily switch to Starpower/RCN and never look back.

Best part of the story: "I was like you got to be freaking kidding me," said Govan, 25. "I was so mad I couldn't even cuss.""

4 Comments:

At 9:31 AM, Blogger Jason said...

Id would like to think that Im down with lizzes although my personal experience only is limited to watching them in “movies”

 
At 11:07 AM, Blogger Donkey Mcdonkerton said...

Lezzies kick ass!

 
At 11:08 AM, Blogger Donkey Mcdonkerton said...

Comcast is the worst, their customer service is HORRRRRIBLE.

 
At 8:07 PM, Blogger BWS said...

Well after much prodding I have moved over to Blogspot. Although, I would like to take credit for the actions of the phantom man at Dewey-it was not me. While Redonkulous is correct in stating that I do many, if not all, those things on that particular weekend it was not me. I do, however, have to admit that I had to read the blog and check out the picture to make sure. What actually convinced me is that the blogger has a picture of the unnamed man passed out on the pier. I have never done that. Although I will admit that everything else that Redonk gave me credit for is in my repitoire. And yes, I am great proponent of the call one minute after you get the number. It's called stalker style and it cuts through the BS just like a knife.

 

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