Friday, March 10, 2006

An open Letter to Tahj Holden (go Terps, beat BC)

Dear Tahj,

Im sure by now you have read THIS POST.

I did not intend for the post to reach such a large audience, but evidently it has. In fact, the post is now the number 8 google hit for Tahj Holden, the number ONE google hit for the apparently-common misspelling Taj Holden, and every week a number of people stumble across the post in a search for your name. Therefore, given the amazing frequency that all guys “google themselves” (girls often google themselves too, they are just too embarrased to talk about it publicly) the chances are very high that you have also come across this post at some time or another.

This open letter is merely an attempt to state that it was all written in good fun. If you are offended by the post, don’t be. If you think that people on the internets are simply mocking your pickup style, then you are right, but hey ask these internet people if they even have a pick-up style (I don't know how you would track these readers down in order to survey them on their pick-up style, but as I've said in the past I'm not that money with internet skills). Also, remember the age old maxim - any publicity is good publicity (See - Hilton, Paris). Seriously, everyone mocks Tom Cruise’s style and look how many hot ass chicks that crazy mutherfucker picks up. It just so happens that you are seven feet tall and he is five, so it is much easier to spot your moves in action. If you feel that the post mocks you for no good reason, just relish in the fact that people are actually still writing about you, and this may bring you ever closer to DC-Baltimore-area celebrity status and lead to a whole bunch more of the pictures that you seem to enjoy so much.

In other words don’t send any of your Seven foot tall friends, who may still live in the College Park/DC area, to hunt me down. In fact, tell those friends of yours who are still on the UMD team to forget about me and concentrate on beating Boston College tonight, so that the Terps can make it back into the NCAA tournament once again. Any anger at the Redonkulous Linker should be taken out tonight on the Boston College Eagles.

Thank you for your time and consideration, and if you have any questions please do not heisitate to contact me.

The Redonkulous Lnker

P.S. If Tahj sends his gigantic peeps after me I wil call my personal bodygaurd....the Juggernaut, bitch


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