Monday, June 04, 2007

Skeptics Guide to the Douchebaggaverse

Another two week delay, but since I received no comments or emails regarding the lack of posting...I will just assume that nobody cared
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Big psuedo-scientific news last week as the Loch Ness Monster was finally filmed terrorizing Scotland. At least according to CNN, whose breathless headline read “Fabled monster caught on video.” The text of the article was no less hysterical: “The Scottish media is skeptical of Nessie stories but Holmes' footage is of such good quality that even the normally reticent BBC Scotland aired the video on its main news program on Tuesday.” Ooooh I couldnt wait to see this high quality video so I found the Scottish newscast on the Gootube. The CNN article continued: “Loch Ness Monster watchers say is among the finest footage ever taken of the elusive mythical creature.” Ok, it is settled, “Loch Ness Monster watchers” are fucking idiots. The only thing shown in the video was a long black line moving through the water. This is what passes for a monster these days?














I knew the skeptics would have a field day with this nonsense, and the message board of my favorite skeptical podcast, Skeptics Guide to the Universe, did not dissapoint. Quickly a more suitable headline was created
RECANT YOUR SKEPTICAL POSITIONS FOR I HAVE PHOTOGRAPHED AN ELONGATED BLUE-BLACKISH BLOB !!!!
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Speaking of believing in stupid shit. Cracked.com has an excellent list of the top 10 celebrities whose belief in the alien Xenu are most disappointing. Jason Lee, Beck, Seinfeld....dagger.
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Finally almost 15 years after high school, the lyrics to Yellow Ledbetter are explained on the gootube.
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I have pretty much avoided the guy-in-basement-talking-into-webcam side of youtube, but this ol' skeptical bastard ranting about religion on about 30 podcasts kicks much ass
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Resident Donkies(eys) Paparazzi Spooony D got himself in Gilbertology recently with a ton of Agent Zero and other Wizard-themed photoshops. If I really cared about this blog I'd procure his magician like services to fix up this damn thing again as with his brilliant rendering of Billy Donovan eating children - Coach K style - back in March of '06
But still have "edit me" links in the right margin. Give me a reason to care, I dare you.
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Holy Shit The Bees Are All Dead
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Matthew Mf-ing Yglesias linked to this highlarious and pseudo-intellectual examination of the modern day douchebag
He has seen the douchebag, and it is us.
The surprising thing about douchebag, which has become the current default term of disparagement—deployed with relish by everyone from Jon Stewart to every other blogger—is that most likely your grandfather used it too...Over time, the word has come to denote “somebody who can’t help but to be an asshole

Although the douchebag described in that article may be be me, at least I am not the type of dbag prominently featured on the Hot Chicks With Douchebags Blog
and I have yet to buy an douche cologne

4 Comments:

At 1:56 AM, Blogger subcontinental.giant said...

I think doucheoisie is the best word ever! Also, a member of our favorite 4some was featured on dbags with hot chicks... "Money Metal Cakes"

I can't believe that Seinfeld is a Scientologist! Beck I can see but Seinfeld truly is a DAGGER !

 
At 6:23 AM, Blogger Jason said...

"Loch Ness Monster" its more like "the big brown shark" aka poo floating... there i said it, i solved the 100 year mystery...

And whats wrong with douchebag cologne??

 
At 7:58 AM, Blogger The Redonkulous Linker said...

They are so far off with that call SG. Cakes in the box is moooney. Funniest Junkie there is.

 
At 4:09 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

seriously??? two weeks?? no links?? come on man...

 

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