Wednesday, August 30, 2006

This I know fo sho.

Apparently, Osama is obsessed with Whitney Houston
He clearly hasnt seen her defend GW Bush’s policies. Her responses to Bobby Brown are capped off with the brilliant “kiss my ass” rebuttal...brilliant.

After last week's video of Snoop jamming to the country Gin and Juice, I now demand YouTube to find me Andre 3000 rocking out to this acoustic cover. That is all YouTube, you may now continue with your day.

Side note: I am not embarrased to admit that I just listened to that song four straight times.
If you dont want to spend hours scouring youtube and google video, this is one of the best websites for grabbing the highlights, posting them in blog form, and allowing users to vote on their popularity Videosift.
why the hell did the Skins trade a 3rd rounder for TJ Duckett. Is there something we don’t know about C. Portis. What happened to faith in Ladell Betts?
is lonelygirl15 real? Since nobody believes that she is real anymore, what is she selling?
5 lines that ruin otherwise very good rap songs. The only one I COMPLETELY agree with is #2. Notorious BIG
holy shit, the macaca is piling up.
Allen is now down one point to Webb in latest poll. Other polls also have them basically in a statistical dead heat. wow.

Sunday, August 20, 2006

A-S-S-H-O-L-E Everybody! A-S-S-H-O-L-E (Dennis Leary tribute lyrics)

This is clearly the best baseball commentary you will ever see. Dennis Leary and the Red Sox first baseman: sticking it to a racist Mel Gibson. “I hope in rehab they are showing a video of that ....Braveheart, my ass.”

But don't stop with Mel Gibson. Conservative racism week rolls on (thanks Wonkette), as the George-Allen-racist-video that I linked to last week will not die. Here we have CNN, breaking down the brilliant decision by Allen to call the only brown guy at a rally in Southern Virginia, a racist monkey term meaning monkey. The Subcontinental Giant would not allow such words. We need to get Jim Webb elected in Virginia, and fast.

More fun with Allen – Guess the Real Virginian – and here is a hint: its not the guy white guy who grew up in Southern California. Here is another hint, it is not George Allen. Also, Rob tells John Stewart that he is Mcacan.
Finally, courtesty of Wonkette, here is the final entrant in GOP racism week.
The republican leading in the race for a vacant House seat, proclaims
"I grew up in Alabama, I understand - uh, I know this from my own experience that blacks are not the greatest swimmers, or may not even know how to swim”

Pretty smooth move buddy.
You know who is NOT Racist....Filliam H. Muffman.
The Colbert report has its own Wikiality, and Filliam H. Muffman is rightly celebrated. Take that Wikipedia

Here is the Wikiality definition of F.H.M.
"Portmanteau commonly used by Colbert Report host Stephen Colbert to refer to Felicity Huffman and William H. Macy, a Hollywood couple. Because Stephen has referred to them as Filliam H. Muffman, this is the ONLY acceptable way to properly refer to them. Filliam H. Muffman is the single most successful Hollywood couple. Ever. There will never be another one like them.

Their most famous work, "The Splendiferous Zeppelin Escapades of Filliam H. Muffman" was a film documenting their summer of love when they tried to close the last of the Nazi Zeppelins, that was being used as a mobile sweatshop by the Chinese. Filliam H. Muffman saved over 400 future Jolie children"

If the quality of this internet video is any indication, HDTV’s may soon become obsoloete, this is some quality stuff

Tuesday, August 15, 2006

They all have a motto: Be rich, dress poor

I’m back from a relaxing weekend at the Delaware beach. For the first time, I did not even hit up the Dewey Beach bars even once. The same cannot be said for Scott Van Pelt. The ESPN talking head apparently got the phone number of some young lady at the Bottle and Cork and figured he would give her a call and leave a nice message. This girl, however, decided to save his message post it on the internets. Fortunately for us, and unfortunately for SVP, the site with the best contents on all the interwebs, got a hold of the message.

You gotta feel bad for SVP for having a private message broadcast on the interwebs, but I’d have to agree that all-in-all he comes out looking like a good guy, maybe trying to hard to be funny - but damn funny nonetheless.
Here is the long, funny, dewey-beach-centric phone message in all its glory

While Deadspin has been providing the best content lately, the best overall site continues to be YouTube. You can find a video of anything on that site. As proof of that, I found this video of Van Pelt at the very same Dewey bar where the previous meeting went down.

I will be in back Dewey/Rehoboth on Labor Day Weekend, and while I KNOW SVP wont be returning after this incident, maybe I will spot another Sportscenter anchor goin for the Leather or Stuart Scott hollerin'.

If you don’t wanna get caught reading Deadspin at work, another greater Gawker-media site, Lifehacker, provides this badass website that converts any other website into a work-friendly viewer. Type in any URL and you can read it at work without fear of the man lookin over your shoulder.
Anyone who has been to college and gotten fucked up has enjoyed the novelty-countryfied-bluegrass version of Snoop Dogg’s epic classic Gin N Juice as performed by the Gourds. Well in this video we learn that Snoop also enjoys the he sings along.

I don’t know how the Wizards will be able to cope with the loss of Jared Jeffries. This Knicks blogger is already imagining the Bird vs. Magic comparisons that will arise during Knicks practices when the world gets to witness Jeffries vs. Balkman.
Dcist points me to the wonderful customizable Stephen Colbert “On Notice Board” Generator. You can input anything that you would like to place “on notice" and it goes up on the big board.

Edit to your heart’s content, but whatever you do, do not erase the greatness that is FILLIAM H. MUFFMAN.

For your further viewing pleasure, here is the origin of Filliam H Muffman that wonderful Bennifer-like blend of Felicity Huffman and William H. Macy
Of all the myriad dance remixes centered around Wilford Brimley’s pronounciation of the word “Diabetes” this is clearly the BEST.
Here are some links to almost every Penn & Teller Bullshit episode from Showtime, all hosted on google video. My favorite has to be the episode in which they expose the bullshit that is bottled water. I drink the stuff but only because I am redonkulously lazy.
The greatest bright spot in my move to Virginia would be if I get to cast the deciding vote to defeat racist Senator George Allen. Watch this video of Allen, yesterday, calling an Indian UVA student Macaca - twice - which is apparently a monkey-based racial slur. Nice move dick.

Sunday, August 06, 2006

Ch Ch Changes

I can’t believe any of you are still checking this thing after my latest month-long hiatus, but apparently people are still clicking away, so I’m back for more. No excuses for the long break this time....well, actually, tons more excuses.

76 days ago I was in my twenties, single, and renting a place in the city with brother. Today, things done changed. I am now in my thirties, engaged, and I live in a house that I own in Arlington. Combine all that with the busiest couple work weeks of my life and I think I can be excused from posting some stupid redonkulous shit for a while.
Thanks to a site called Ikea Hacker, I found this money desk for my new home office.
This Chucky K. article is the best and most well thought out Snakes on Plane dissertation I’ve ever read. Despite buying into the internet hype, I will NOT be going to see this movie. I agree with the Chucky K logic which I think can be summarized as follow: "It's so bad its funny/good" just doesnt work if its intentionally bad, therefore it will probably just end up, like most other summer movies, just plain regular bad.
I literally laughed out loud, and I mean chuckled in such a way that it was audible from multiple feet away, from these editors notes to Axl Rose
and also this APB for Jon Bon Jovi.

"Bon Jovi is no regular cowboy. He rides a horse made of steel. A steel horse. I am not shitting you. And don't think this is some sort of comical clunky robot horse with whimsical hydraulic sound effects and extraneous flashing lights. This thing is exactly like a Thoroughbred, only much larger and made from an incredibly resilient alloy. Bullets can't even penetrate this horse, much less stop it. Bon Jovi is also armed with a loaded six-string that he carries on his back. Reports differ on whether he uses it as a sort of crossbow or whether it's actually a guitar that he plays with such shocking mastery as to render victims helpless. Regardless, take heed."

Input your first and last name and get your Brazillian-soccer-name and jersey here.
Can someone tell me why the "Arlington Comcast" decided to differ from "Washington DC Comcast" or the "Montgomery County Comcast" and offer the WORST.. DVR..EVER Seriously, any DVR is better than no DVR, and DVR is clearly the most crucial component of a home theater system, but Scentific Atlanta makes the worst DVR in the history of all DVR's.